Standing at crossroad of life

Today I feel a strange tug of war going on within myself. On one end stands my past and on the other end is a present that wishes to be my future. The past in which I saw all my loved one's in their purest form - my mother, my father, my brother, a best friend, my love, and the face of a would be daughter, and on the other end I see something I was always curious about but something I was always too coward, too lazy or too proud to adopt or try. But no matter what, this is something I see myself in or at least something I could have been.
On one end I have a thread trying to hold me to my ground and allow me to have no future, and on the other end is a thread that is pulling me to break all current threads and move along a future that is unchartered alone.

 It reminds me of a couplet by Ghalib -

"imaaN mujhe roke hai jo khiNche hai mujhe kufr
 ka'aba mere peeche hai kaleesa mere aage"

 Which in literal sense translates to -

 "Faith stops me, while impiety pulls me concealed
  I have my holy place behind me and someone else's holy place in front"
 
Anyone who has held any importance to relationships from the deepest corners of their heart would know how difficult it is to severe any of them and that too when neither of them are harmful to you. The only justification to severe these could be for me to move on and experience more and be more free of my cowardice and quench my thirst for this. But would it be worth it in the end? For I know there would be no coming back if I walk on this path, this is a one way road and would redefine everything and anything that I have held important in my life. It might be the path to my ultimate liberation for it would take be above the bounds of mortal attachments and emotions that come along with them. It would make me see life from a whole different perspective. But till then, it is still a question that rips be in to halves and I do not have a way to answer this question of time. So I will most probably let time answer it for myself, I wouldn't run away or towards any of the two and see to which side time lends its hand and pulls me towards.

My Favorite ghazal "dekha toh mera saaya" translation

I have always loved, for they portray emotions in a light that just makes them shine and quite so apparent yet hidden. Here is the one that I found that resounds with me in every line of it ...

dekHa to mera saaya bhi mujhse juda mila

socha to har kisi se mera sil-sila mila

sehar-e-wafa meiN ab kise ehl'-e-wafa kaheN

humse gale mila to wo hi be-wafa mila

furshaT kise thi jo meri haalaath poochchta

har shakhs apne baare meiN kuch sonchtha mila

ussne to khair apno se moda that mooh haya

maiNe ye kya kiya ke maiN gairoN se jaa mila

I know translation from one language to another can never be perfect and the work tends to lose its meaning and hence its beauty a lot - but I will still try to give it my best shot.

When I looked, my shadow separated from me I found

When I thought, a story with everyone I found

In the city of loyalty, who shall I call loyal?

Embracing me was the same disloyalty/disloyal to be found 

Who had the free time to ask for my being?

Thinking about themselves, every character was found

he/she had anyways turned his/her face away from his/her own

But what did I do? Mingling with the unknown I was found